Culture Clash: Immigrant Muslims Raising Children in the West - Yasir Qadhi & Mohamed Magid
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Second-generation Muslims in America or Europe: do you appreciate and respect the views and experiences of your parents? Do you realize that they have your best interests in mind? Immigrant Muslim parents struggling to raise children in the West: did you really expect your children to retain the culture of your homeland? Are you trying your best to understand their culture and to provide an atmosphere of love and comfort, as opposed to criticism and disdain? In many cases we find the answers to these questions in the negative and the unfortunate result is a clash that pits family members against one another in a deeply emotional struggle over identities, priorities and cultures. Is this dilemma unsolvable, or are there concrete steps that elder immigrants and indigenous youth can take to help narrow the gap between them? Join in this panel discussion and learn very practical ways to address the matter from both perspectives. Some of the issues discussed: the parents' unique love for their own children, making dua for one another as a means for increasing the love, reflecting on the struggles of parenthood, allowing children to be free-thinkers, realizing that parents may not always be the best advice-givers, arrogance before the elders, open communication and trust, the problem of emphasizing culture over religion, the example of Prophet Muhammad (P), the priority of marriage over schooling, parents as friends, and women and children in the masjid. (Duration: 1 hour, 58 min)
1) Introduction: I Can Relate to What You're Going Through 2) Muslim Youth: No One Can Ever Love You More Than Your Parents 3) Muslim Youth: Your Parents Will Always Have More Experience Than You 4) Muslim Youth: Don't Dismiss Your Parents Because They're Not "Cool" 5) Muslim Youth: Your Parents Will Never Stop Being Parents to You 6) Muslim Youth: You Will Be Even More Strict With Your Own Children 7) Muslim Parents: Provide An Atmosphere of Love and Comfort 8) Muslim Parents: Sometimes You Are Not the Best Person to Give Advice 9) Muslim Parents: Treat Your Children With Respect and Maturity 10) Muslim Parents: Don't Expect Your Children to Retain Your Culture 11) Muslim Youth and Parents: Make Dua For Each Other 12) Defining "Generation" 13) Some Issues Contributing to the Generation Gap 14) The Right Perspective: Our Children Complete Us 15) Muslim Youth: Beware of Arrogance 16) Muslim Parents: Allow Your Children to Think For Themselves 17) Muslim Parents: Focus on the Outcome, Not the Means 18) Parents and Youth: Each Must Be Involved in the Decision-Making Process 19) The Contradiction Between What Parents Say and What They Do 20) Prepare Your Children For a Time That is Not Your Time 21) Open Communication and Trust Are Vital 22) Don't Focus So Much on the Difference in Languages 23) Allah Will Ask Us About How We Raised Our Children 24) Our Children Are the Future Leaders of the Ummah 25) This Problem Involves Both Old and Young 26) How to Raise Our Children? Look at the Prophet (P) and the Sahabah 27) We Must Have Love and Care For Our Children 28) We Must Have Knowledge 29) Parents and Elders Must Treat Children as Their Friends 30) Q&A: A Major Conflict: Marriage Now or Later? 31) Q&A: Decrease TV Time, Increase Personal Time 32) Q&A: Develop Bonds With Your Children By "Chillin" With Them 33) Q&A: Reward Your Children With "Halal" Bribes 34) Q&A: We Can Learn From American Non-Muslims Too! 35) Q&A: Confess to the Same Sins to Help Prevent Kids From Them? 36) Q&A: Many Parents Are in Denial of Reality 37) Q&A: What Environment Are You Placing Your Children In? 38) Q&A: Children Must Be Aware That a Little Knowledge Can Lead to Arrogance 39) Q&A: Humility and Etiquette Are Part of Knowledge 40) Q&A: Some Parents Don't Want Their Children to Be Religious 41) Q&A: The Prophet (P) Was Sent to Teach the Book, Wisdom and Purification 42) Q&A: Teens and Pre-Teens Need Trust and Friendship From Their Parents 43) Q&A: The Masjid Needs to Be Welcoming to Children and Their Mothers! 44) Q&A: We Must Teach Our Children the Etiquette of the Masjid